All right.  I've had it!  Gather 'round Ladies and Gentleman so that you can all hear the news:

I am a blond spy.

A lot of you girls probably have no idea, and none of you boys know just how serious the problem is, but there is a war going on that most of you don't know about.  Oh, sure, you've all seen the "Brunettes/Blondes Do It Better" tee shirts, and you've heard a lot of propaganda, but I bet that you never took any of it seriously.  And why would you?  The Underground War isn't being broadcast all over the news.  It's being fought right under all of your noses.

You may laugh now, but it's a dirty job and somebody has got to do it.  Since it's all undercover, we deal in guerilla warfare and, well, we've lost some good women out there.  Oh, sure, it started with things like putting hair dye into other people's shampoo, but it quickly progressed into all-out cat-fighting.  People's heads have been shaved.  Boyfriends have been stolen.  Beloved pets have been kidnapped and held hostage.

As for my part in all of it, I just pose as a brunette and send information back to the blond camps.  It's not such a bad job, in truth, it's kind of fun.  But I dream of a better world, a world where I can be judged not by the color of my hair, but by its thick and shiny beauty.

This little stunt might get me caught, but the world has to know. Only then is there any hope for peace.  To any blonds out there, stay strong, fight on, and always remember to rinse and repeat!

So, I've been away for awhile, but I haven't really felt like I had anything to write in here.  Now I do.  I want to talk about why I will never vote for Barack Obama.  From what I've seen so far and from what I know about his politics, the idea that he might become the next president really scares me.  Here's why:

1) Barack Obama wanst to raise all kinds of taxes.  Basically, you name a tax, he wants to raise it.  We're in the middle of a recession, and raising the taxes would make the economy even worse.  You know, he always talks about how he's going to give everyone a tax break, give more money to education, give more money to welfare, and lower expenses for medicare...but he never explains how he's going to do that.  Do you know why?  It's because he has to raise taxes to do all of these things.  And no one wants to hear about that.

2) Every time he talks, his speeches sound like speeches.  Everything he says sounds very practiced and all of his promises sound empty.  I can't stand to listen to him talk because I feel like he's trying to pull the wool over my eyes, and doing it with a smile.

3) He's naive.  Now, mind you, in many ways, I myself am very naive.  I don't necessarily think it's a bad quality in a person.  However, I do think it's a bad quality in a president.

4) He associates himself with bad people.  Reverend Wright...do I really need to explain?  If you somehow missed it, he was the one spreading heinous lies like the government starting the AIDs epidemic in the black community, saying thinks like "F**k America"!  Then there's his running mate, Biden.  If you watched the VP Debates a while back, you might have noticed that Joe Biden is a liar, for one thing.  He lied about his voting records, which was incredibly stupid because those are easily looked up.  Also, if you were watching the debate, you might have noticed that about half of his time was spent trash-talking McCain and the Bush Administration.  Not only does he focus on the negative, but he's all about the blame game.

5) Then there is, of course, the fact that he's a far, far left liberal.  I'm conservative.  Our politics are pretty much exact opposites. 

On that note, I'm no big fan of John McCain or Sarah Palin either.  I'd like to see both of them call the other side out on their crap better.  It worries me that they're either not wise to it or to scared to do so.  In many ways, I feel like I'm picking the lesser of two evils, though I don't consider McCain/Palin evil people, just not necessarily really good candidates for the presidency/vice presidency either.  I just like them better than the competition.

Ever since I was a little girl, I have absolutely loved the Disney Classics.  I've watched them over and over, but there are certain movies that I favor over the rest: "Peter Pan" and "The Little Mermaid".  Oh sure, I love "Aladdin", "The Hunchback of Notre Dame", "Beauty and the Beast", and "The Lion King", but not as much as this story.  So, why?  What is it about Ariel and her story that made her my favorite?

• Her Voice - Yes, all of the Disney princesses sing beautifully--it's a fact--but her voice was always the one that I liked best.  My earliest memories of singing are of imitating her, which made a lot of sense when my mom told me that I had started doing that at about three years old.  I even used to argue with one of my best friends about who could imitate her better (it was me ^_~).

• Her Species - She's a mermaid.  How cool is that?  All of the other Disney princesses are just ordinary humans--and that's what she chooses to be in the end, of course--but Ariel is born different, special.  Given that I also used to love stories about mermaids, I guess the other girls never had a chance.

• Her Curiosity - As someone who is also very lucky not to have been born a cat, I appreciate this quality in other people.  I really don't understand people who aren't curious by nature.
  

• Her Bravery - Like any good *DP, Ariel's nothing if not courageous.  She tends to get a little reckless because of it--and almost gets eaten by a shark, drowned by a sudden loss of gills deep underwater, and killed by a sea witch--but I have to admire her guts.

• Her Determination - Now, I don't recommend falling in love with a prince who's not really your species, whose been forbidden for you to see by your father, and lives in a world that you can't survive in...but if you're going to do it, you better not half-ass it or give up at the first sign of trouble.  She had no legs, so she made a deal.  She lost her voice, but she went after her guy anyway.  She couldn't swim, but she risked drowning in the ocean to save the man she loved in spite of it.  The girl is the very definition of perseverance. 
  

• Her Innocence - It's part of what makes her so cheerful and energetic, I think.  Maybe that's why she seems younger than a lot of the other DPs.  She's optimistic and naive because she just doesn't know a whole lot about the way the world works.  I find it endearing.
  

Sure, I really like Belle (more than I realized, after reading a guest blog on Datingish Disney Chicks, which inspired this blog) and Mulan and some of the others, but I think Ariel will always be my favorite.  Who's your favorite Disney Princess and why?

*Disney Princess